Searching for Love
by Hera of Olympus
Summary: What if Venn had come with Claidi on the Yinyay at the Rise? How might have things turned out? Read the story here.
1. The Hulta

A/N: I love the Claidi Pairings as they are: Claidi/Argul, Dengwi/Venn, Winter/Ngarbo. By this story I'm not trying to break anything up, I'm just playing around with what might have happened.  
  
"Hold it, Claidi. I'm getting out."  
  
Claidi looked Venn over and smiled. "The Hulta," she told him, pointing. "Come on, let's go."  
  
Following Claidi, Venn walked to the blur of people. He took a deep breath. "Still shaky from the Star?" Claidi questioned him.  
  
He nodded. She was beautiful to him, her liveliness and the way she smiled. For the first time since his mother left him, he truly felt happy.  
  
They reached the people. A man who wore his hair in long, tight braids stepped forward.  
  
"Claidi? Is that you?"  
  
Claidi smiled. Oh, how he loved that smile. "Yeah, Blurn. It's me."  
  
Blurn looked incredulously at her. "Who's that?" he asked, jerking his head towards Venn. Claidi's smile vanished.  
  
"That's my friend, Venn."  
  
"Oh? So you dumped Nemian, eh?"  
  
"NEMIAN?"  
  
"Yeah, Nemian. You ran off with him. Here's the book you were writing in." He held up a book just like Claidi's diary. He flipped through the pages. My god, Venn thought, it was in her handwriting! He looked questioningly at her, but she looked bewildered.  
  
"That isn't mine!"  
  
Blurn laughed. "Making excuses? Claidi, I don't understand why you dumped Argul for that okk Nemian. Do you have any sense?"  
  
Badger stepped forward. "Blurn?" he asked. Blurn waved him away.  
  
"Blurn, I don't understand..."  
  
"She understands, all right," snarled Badger.  
  
"I don't think she does." It was Dagger. "Blurn, tell her."  
  
"The day you left," Blurn began, "you left in a balloon. You left your book here. We read it, and you were droning on about how much you preferred Nemian, then you wrote a love-letter to him, and he hired some men to pick you up."  
  
"That's not true." Venn was speaking now. "The men kidnapped Claidi against her will and brought her to where I live."  
  
"Look, pal," said Blurn roughly, "if I were you, I'd be shut my mouth." Venn glared at him, but remained quiet.  
  
Claidi's eyes brimmed with tears. "It's true!" She took out her diary. "If you must, read this..."  
  
"Go away, Claidi. I can't control them. I won't hurt you, but I won't speak for them."  
  
"Can I at least see Argul?" Claidi whispered. Venn looked down. How he wanted to have Argul's place in her affections!  
  
Blurn stared at her. "Argul's...gone," he said.  
  
"What?"  
  
"When he found out the news, he left. You broke his heart, Claidi. I hope you feel a bit of remorse."  
  
"Do you know where he is?"  
  
"Nope. Claidi, you'd better run."  
  
Venn looked at her. They traipsed off towards the Star. 


	2. Venn Confesses

"Claidi, what do we do now?"  
  
"Search for Argul, of course."  
  
"What? You don't know where he is!"  
  
"I'd search hell to find Argul." Venn looked down. I'd search hell to find you, he thought.  
  
He frankly didn't want to search for Argul. Fabulous, remarkable Argul. Both women preferred Argul: Ustareth, whom he'd thought solely loved him, as she'd always told him, that he was the gem in her heart, (his heart twisted angrily) and Claidi, whom he now loved, and was sure he'd love, for all eternity.  
  
"So Venn? Will you?" Her voice was pleading. Venn looked at his hands.  
  
"Yes, Claidi. I'll help you find Argul."  
  
He had expected a smile, or a shriek of joy, but she just looked at him, obviously concerned. About what? he wondered.  
  
"Venn, you don't like him, do you?"  
  
He thought about that. He didn't know Argul, yet his hatred for him was like none he'd ever had, excepting Ustareth. Angrily he ranted in his mind about how she could have taken him with her, that she had lied to him, told him she loved him, left him a doll to be his mother...  
  
And Argul, who was her obvious favorite. For although Venn hated his mother, he still wanted her to love him. Why he didn't know.  
  
And Claidi. Willing to search hell to find Argul. Why couldn't she feel that way about him? Why did everyone prefer Argul? He was glad that he'd left Treacle behind, or she'd start going after Argul as well.  
  
Finally, he answered. "Claidi, do you really expect me to like him?"  
  
"No, I suppose not."  
  
"If you suddenly realized your mother had left you for another, wouldn't you be a bit angry?"  
  
She walked over to him. "I love you, Claidi," he whispered.  
  
She looked him over. "Venn, please. I..."  
  
"I know. You love Argul."  
  
"Well, I do..."  
  
"Claidi, do you love Argul with all your heart?"  
  
She avoided his eyes. "I do," she answered softly.  
  
Venn examined his fingernails. I love you with all mine, he wanted to say. But he didn't have the bravery.  
  
"I'm going to sleep," he told her flatly. "Good night." 


	3. A Burden

How could she prefer Argul over him?  
  
He was being arrogant, he knew it. He laughed coldly. Was that one of the reasons Ustareth abandoned him?  
  
He wanted her so badly, how couldn't she understand that? When he first met her, he knew there was something special about her, despite the letter. And now he knew there was.  
  
Shaking his head, he paced the room. Why would Claidi want to search for Argul? Didn't she like him as a friend, at least? Didn't she know she was breaking his heart?  
  
No. She had eyes for only Argul. But yet...at the rise, wasn't there a little more between them than friendship? Or was it just his imagination? But Claidi looked at him in a different way than she did now, he was sure of that.  
  
Maybe he should have stayed at the Rise, he thought bitterly, if this was the way Claidi's feelings were.  
  
But it was too late, he knew. He could never go back to the Rise, really. It would never be the same. All he could, and would think about was Claidi.  
  
Maybe I should just refuse her, he thought. But she's determined. She would do it without me. He looked down at his feet.  
  
How different my life would be if I had a mother who loved me? he thought angrily.  
  
Ustareth was meaning for you to follow her, but you never did, a voice inside his head told him. She was determined. She wanted to forge a new path. But she loved you.  
  
She did not, he told himself firmly. If she loved me, she'd have taken me with her.  
  
You would be a burden on her journey, the voice answered.  
  
"I'm a burden everywhere!" Venn yelled aloud. He closed his eyes. It was late at night, and he'd probably waken Claidi up.  
  
Sure enough, she knocked on his door. "Venn? What was that?"  
  
He looked at his feet. "Nothing," he mumbled.  
  
She walked over to him. He stared at her. How graceful she seemed! She sat beside him, and his heart began to beat faster.  
  
"Venn?"  
  
He looked down. "What?"  
  
"Do you think I don't like you?"  
  
Venn stared at the floor. He did think that sometimes she didn't think of him first, only her own desires, but no, he'd never thought that. But was it true? That terrible thought tore his insides apart. He didn't answer.  
  
"Because that isn't true, Venn. I like you. I like you a lot."  
  
He jerked his head up, staring at her.  
  
"You're one of my best friends, Venn. You're a great person."  
  
He looked down again. How foolish to think she had meant something else. But he couldn't help but think, hope, really, that it was not all his imagination at work.  
  
He looked up. Claidi had slowly walked across the room.  
  
"C'mon, Venn. Let's try and get some more sleep."  
  
He dreamt of Claidi that night. 


End file.
